I got the reportedly cheesy and horrible NBC mini-series In The Beginning
on DVD pretty cheaply at my local shop, so I made some caps to share. Below the cut is a picspam with 14 caps, worth about 2.4mb, with some non-sexual nudity. You'll probably all have seen this already, but hey -- DVD quality counts for something, right?
In this what I assume is highly religious miniseries which chronicles the story of the Jewish people before and after the 40 years of wandering about in the desert (or I think that's what it's about; I didn't actually watch it after Adam wasn't on screen anymore), God created the Universe with a cheesy CGI Big Bang
. I kid you not. And then God created man, and man was a hot Indian dude. I can't tell if this is progressive or not, because my guess is that they wanted to allude to the fact that humanity actually originated in, uh, somewhat warmer
climates, but they didn't want to go so far as to make Adam real
black. But anyway, wind (I assume this is God) blows harshly at a dune of sand, and the first glimse of Adam we get is his hand. Hand-porn!
The camera pans, and we get the sole of one foot and a bit of knee.
The other foot, and knee again.
From the feet, the camera does a pan up to Adam's face, licking over that body from between the legs over the nipples and up to the jaw, which would have been absolutely fucking glorious
and a thing of anyone's wetdream and gagagagaga if it weren't for, y'know, the sand.
But we do get a good shot of nipples. The angle is really nice. And is that a dimple under his ribcage?
And we pan up to the face.
Adam's nostrils. What? That's relevant, biblically.
And he's wakey-wakey. Wow, that's one perfectly almond-shaped eye, that.
Adam gets up in the sandstorm, sort of wobbly, and the sand and the wind and the air (all God, I assume) do a heck of a good job hiding the essentials. God, are you jealous? You don't want us to have a peek?
The hair looks sort of okay here, but do not be fooled.
Adam stretches and does a RAWRRRRRRR yell which might or might not be symbolic of the first cry of the baby as it is born, but what's important here is that you can see the armpit hair.
OH THE HAIR IT KILLS. This was where I started to look away from the screen and cap it blind. The remaining caps may show signs of this. I love how deadpanned they both play this. It clearly illustrates how fucking bored Adam and Eve must have been in this place. Or maybe they were going for "innocent wide-eyed wonder" and failed, who knows.
Adam and Eve walk around this tropical rain forest-ish place that is The Garden of Eden, and here's a cap to illustrate two things: 1) at this point I was capping every other frame here to see if one got an accidentl peek between the leaves, and 2) DAMMIT SKIN-COLORED UNDERWEAR?! Americans!
The fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil looks like a blackberry, and after Eve picks it by temptation from a CGI snake, she feeds the rest to Adam. And it's sort of already highly sexual, and I can't decide if that's intentional on the part of the creators or if it's just SR's natural doing.
Zip file with all 116 caps I took: sr_adam.zip, 20mb
And an animated icon:
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